Funny sms

We’ll we’ll we’ll, and if it isn’t the Autocorrect.

5 and 2 had an argument. 2 1

Fun fact
Did you know that when you take all the nerves from a human body and align them so they’re forming a straight line, you’ll end up in jail for a really, really long time?

What do you get when you wake up on a workday and realize you ran out of coffee?
 A depresso.

I used to breed rabbits.
Then I realized they can handle it themselves.

Google request: How to disable autocorrect in wife?

Why are eggs not very much into jokes?
Because they could crack up.

What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?
A slow swimmer.

I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems.
The first thing the rascal did was made me pay in advance.

Does your horse smoke?
No.
Well, then I think your stable is burning.

What are a shark’s two most favorite words?
Man overboard!

“Waiter, the steak is smelling very strongly of liquor!”
The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, “How’s that now?”

I ran into my ex in town yesterday.
Then I ran over him and backed up to run into him again.

I don’t think women should be allowed to have kids after 40.
40 kids is way too much by any standard.

What is written on a dentist’s grave?
He’s filling his last cavity.

Losing a wife can be very tough.
Some may even say impossible.

What is sticky and brown?
A stick!

A man drops his phone on a concrete floor. The phone is fine, no damage. How come?
He had it on airplane mode.

Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. “I’ll have to cross the road,” says one. - “Well, be careful,” says the other one, “there’s a bus coming in an hour.“

What is pointless?
To tell a bald guy a hair-raising story.

What do you call a bull that likes taking a nap?
A bulldozer!

Why do bees hum?
They don't remember the text!

What happens to mountains when they touch each other?
Answer: Nothing.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.

What swims and starts with a T?
Two ducks.


This post is dedicated to funny sms texts and pictures.

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