Joke Of The Day

Breakup Joke
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonald's. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.

Doctor Joke
Patient: Doctor, I’m starting to forget things.
Doctor: I understand.
Patient: Understand what?

Man Joke
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Suicide Joke
There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

Smelling Joke
What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A diabetic who’s been struck by lightning.

House Joke
I visited my new friend in his flat. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

Hospital Joke
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering “Chun Yu Yan” over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube.”

Magician Joke
A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?" Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!" Magician, winking, "But not for looooong.....!"

Dad Joke
Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!
How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!

Family Joke
That moment when you notice that one fork isn’t really very clean when you’re laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.

Maternity Joke
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning.
The man strokes her back, “I’m so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this…”
She replies: “Don’t worry Steve, it’s not your fault.”

Mom Joke
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, “Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?” “Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready.“

Patient Joke
Doctor: “You look much worse than you did last week! I said you should smoke a maximum of five cigarettes a day!” Patient: “And that’s what I did. And it wasn’t easy because up until now I didn’t smoke at all!”

Blind Joke
When a blind woman tells her boyfriend that she is seeing someone, it could either be a really terrible news or a really great news.

Evil Joke
If you see me smiling, I'm probably thinking of doing something evil. If I’m laughing, I've already done it.


The collection presented in this post consists of top quality material that can be used to select the joke of the day for any occasion.

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