Kid's Jokes

Boy Joke
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

Gift Joke
My daughter loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for Mother’s Day. She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with it. Landon became upset: "Why are you putting a picture of me in there when I bought you a picture of a cat?"

Teenager Joke
My 13-year-old nephew thought his "gangsta" outfit—low-riding pants and exposed boxers—made him look cool. That is, until the day his five-year-old cousin took notice. "Nathaniel," she yelled out in front of everyone. "Your panties are showing."

Father Joke
All parents are proud of overachieving children, and one father was no exception. The bumper sticker on his car read "My Kid Made Your License Plate."

Military Joke
Our friend tells everyone that he began losing his hair while serving in Vietnam. His granddaughter incorporated that information into her grade school history report on the war. She wrote, "My Grandpa went to Vietnam and got his hair shot off."

Weight Joke
Following his motivational talk at a Weight Watchers meeting, my father noticed one client’s small son climbing onto a scale. "Don’t go on that, Joey," warned the boy’s slightly older brother. "It makes people cry."

Grandfather Joke
My five-year-old grandson was looking through some old photos when he noticed his grandfather in his Marine dress blues. "What kind of costume is that?" he asked. "That’s not a costume," his grandfather growled. "Men have died for that uniform." The boy looked up and said, "So you stole it, then?"

Shopping Joke
We were shopping for clothes when my 13-year-old daughter spotted a hat with "Guinness" written on it. She put it on and proclaimed, "Look! I’m a genius!"

Drug Joke
My husband, a deputy district attorney, was teaching an anti drug class to a group of Cub Scouts. When he asked if anyone could list the gateway drugs, one Scout had the answer: "Cigarettes, beer, and marinara."

Student Joke
Our elementary school was honoring local veterans. The students were a bit intimidated and didn’t know how to approach them. "Start by introducing yourself," I said. "Then ask what branch of the military they served in." One student walked over to a vet and promptly asked, "What tree are you from?"

The kid's jokes provided in this post are sure to make the children very happy.

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