Short Funny Jokes

Witty Joke
Man to his wife: ' I’d never say you’re fat!
You’re just a bit more visible.

Ghost Joke
Why are ghost such bad liars?
Because they are easy to see through.

Nose Joke
What would you call a person who had no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.

Naughty Joke
I saw this sweet poor old lady fall down the stairs and hurt herself.
At least I assume she was poor because I didn’t find more than 3.50 in her wallet.

Calendar Joke
Here, I bought you a calendar.
Your days are numbered now.

Fish Joke
Where do fish sleep?
In the River Bed.

Talk Joke
Talk is cheap, yeah?
Have you ever talked to a lawyer?!

Driving Joke
My wife’s driving test went surprisingly well yesterday.
She got 7 out of 12. The 5 managed to run to safety.

Hospital Joke
I called the hospital but the line was dead.

Husband Joke
Husband: Wow, honey, you look really different today.
Did you do something to your hair?
Wife: Michael, I’m over here!

Tree Joke
Do you know a tree’s favorite drink?
Root beer!

Plate Joke
What did one plate say to his friend?
Tonight, dinner’s on me!

Men Joke
Two invisible men meet. One says to the other: “Hey dude, long time no see!”

Silly Joke
When everything’s coming your way – perhaps you’re in the wrong direction on the highway?

Fishing Joke
A woman sees an angler at a lake, “And, are they biting?”
The angler replies, “Only if they are provoked.”

Gay Joke
I met two guys wearing matching clothing.
So I asked them if they were gay.
They promptly arrested me.

Frog Joke
One frog to the other: Oh man, it’s starting to rain.
Let’s hop into the water before we get wet

Idiot Joke
Do you know this joke where all the idiots say no?
NO.

Blonde Joke
I just met a great looking blonde girl with long legs.
She’s a babysitter.
Does anybody know where I can quickly get a child from today?

Women Joke
A woman complains to her mother, “I had this big fight with my husband Joe and at the end he just told me to go to hell.” Mother frowns, “Oh, and so you came to me, huh?”

This is a post on short funny jokes.

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