Stupid Jokes

Animals Joke
Teacher tells Maia, “Name me three African animals.”
Maia: “One lion and two giraffes.”

Relationship Joke
Romantic relationships can actually be represented in algebra. You for example, have definitely at some point looked at your X and asked yourself Y.

Restaurant Joke
I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant. With checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.

Astronaut Joke
Why are astronauts always so calm and efficient?
Zero pressure in vacuum.

Machine Joke
I’ll never buy a vacuum cleaner.
It would only just gather dust.

Geek Joke
How can you tell a programmer is an extrovert? When you’re talking to him, he’s looking at your shoes.

Tax Joke
A fine is a tax when you’ve been doing something wrong. A tax is a fine you get when you’ve been doing something right.

Mushroom Joke
Any mushroom can be eaten.
The trick is to find those mushrooms that can be eaten more than once.

Ladder Joke
Here’s my step ladder.
I’ve never met my biological ladder.

German Joke
A German driver was pulled over on a Polish highway by the local police. Polish policeman: "What’s your name, sir?" German: "Helmut Rauchbraucher." Policeman: "OK. Age?" Helmut: "53." Policeman: "Occupation?" Helmut: "Oh no, I’m only visiting."

Tennis Joke
I dated a tennis player but I’ll never make such a mistake again.
Love has zero meaning to them.

Death Joke
So what happens when somebody scares you half to death
– and then again?

Shop Joke
The stationary shop moved.
It really surprised me.

Funny Joke
“My career is in ruins.”
Herbert Dillgrin, archaeologist

State Joke
Which US state has rounded ends and is high in the middle?
OhiO.

Cool Joke
I’m a superb multitasker. I’ve no problem wasting time, money and life’s opportunities all at the same time!

Salesman Joke
An optician is training a new shop assistant and gives him the rules. “It’s all about proper behavior, proper way of speaking, Joe. Putting in the right pauses in your speech is crucial, too. For instance, the customer enquires about a pair of glasses. You say ‘It’s fifty dollars’ and you make a pause. If the customer looks OK, you continue, ‘for the rims. The lenses are ten dollars” and if the customer still looks fine, you continue, ‘each.’”

American Joke
America: If your country has oil, it badly needs peace and freedom.

Feminist Joke
Unsuspecting, I opened the door for a feminist.
The court hearing is scheduled for next Monday.

Work Joke
So when did you start working for this company?
The moment they told me I have to pick up my performance or I’m history.


This post contains stupid jokes that are very witty and interesting.

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