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Adult Jokes

Little Johnny Joke Little Johnny comes home from Sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!" "Johnny," the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women." Sure enough, the very next Sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" "But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like ...
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Funny Quotes

My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade. Do the manufacturers of foolproof items keep some fools on their payroll to test out their items? Save money on a bigger TV by simply moving the couch closer to your existing one. WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed will remove the stains. I have a complex about my simplicity. A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say. Michael Winner A good way to save water is to dilute it. I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. George Bush The two most common elements in the universe: hydrogen and stupidity. Paying for psychiatrist proves your crazy. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. He took an IQ test and the results were negative. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. No one has ever comp...
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Racist Jokes

Chinese Joke I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629." Black Man Joke On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is Asian, one is Mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The Asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the Mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof. Italian Joke Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew! Jew Joke A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewi...
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